🧽 Naan
It's awards season, with Emmys, Tonys, Grammys, Bumblebees and Oscars all generating their respective buzzes. The worlds of blogging is no exception, with last night seeing the annual Grifties award ceremony.
Grifties is an acronym for Great w[R]iters and Influencers with Fabulous Takes and Inspirational Expertise Show - and this year I was invited, having been nominated in multiple categories.
Humbling
I was super proud to have been invited to the ceremony, and even put on my best jeans and polo for the occasion. When invited to mingle with the elite of the elite, it pays to put your best foot forward. And on my best foot I had a colourful croc. I also had a croc on my second-best foot. You can order these amazing styles through my online store - use the discount subscription code NOTREALSHOES to get a free subscription to my discount offers email list (now unsubscribable!)
Method for making Naan
Anyway, I made my way to the event - this year hosted at Maddersons Rhomboid Gardens - a well known events location, and scene of the infamous boxing match from the 70's; the Scuffle near the Truffle.
Surrounding us were the superstars of blogging - including;
😱 Karen from the "Things my Kids have Said" blog.
🤠 Chad from the "Not Alt-Right, just Asking Questions", "Uphold Men's Rights Using the First and Second Amendments", "Shooting Things for Pleasure and Profit", and the "Crochet Patterns from my Nan" blogs.
👹 My sister Patricia, for her religious-recipe blog "Cheeses for Jesus." Whatever.
😇 Yours Truly - from the "Confusing Names" blog.
🤓 Yours Truly - in awe of everyone there. Except Patricia.
Getting the Gongs
I am proud to say that I came home with several awards from the ceremony, including;
✔️Best Recipe Blog
Take that Patricia!
✔️Best Commitment to the Grift
This was a surprising win for me. I was sure that Milly from "Exploiting my Kids Psychological Trauma" would be a shoe-in.
Or even L Ross, from "Scientiology is Really Fun and not at all Problematic". But I'll take the win.
✔️Most Seamless Segue into a Shameless Product Plug
This one normally goes alongside the Commitment to the Grift award, and I'm proud of my efforts slipping subtle marketing segues into my work.
And speaking of Segways, these high quality transport options are back for a limited time, and available on subscription - use my affiliate code "BROKENORFRACTURED?" at the checkout to get a paperclip with your second order - 100% free. Find this and more at my store here.
So Blessed
It's amazing to have been recognised for my efforts by my peers. And in addition to these supreme awards, I also got "Highly Commended" in the categories;
👍🏽 "Best Commitment to Health and Safety"
👍🏽 "Least Likely to have been Written by ChatGPT"
👍🏽 "Most Likely to have been Written by ChatGPT"
👍🏽 "Kindness to Raccoons"
I'm so thrilled to have made it this far. As will you be, as the actual recipe might appear soon with enough scrolling.
Recipe
I would have to say that the recipe for my success has definitely been using words in my blog. While others have experiments with using mackerel, smoke or lego, I've found that people tend to expect words when looking at a blog - and that's the model I've gone for.
I'm not saying that future blog entries won't be primarily comprised of gravel or seaweed, but for now this has been a true success.
Speech
Obviously at the awards last night, I did need to make a speech. Not the one I prepared for the Supreme "Best Blog Ever (Until Next Time)" award, since I didn't get that one.1 Which is a shame, as it was a really good speech - I literally spent minutes preparing it.
In my speech I took the time to honour my great Auntie Paving Stone, who has been a significan influence to my careers as a terribly successful blogger. Here's an excerpt from my acceptance speech:
I think we can all think back to the people who have influenced us. The people who believed in us. Who inspired us to be better. Who dared us to dream.
Well most of us can anyway. All I had was Great Auntie Paving Stone. She didn't much like me. Patricia was always her favourite. But of all the adults in my formative years, Great Auntie Paving Stone was the one who berated me the least. At least I think she did.
I can still picture the yellow wallpaper in her kitchen, the smile on her face, the noise of the TV in the background and the unmistakable smell of bloated cattle carcasses coming in through the window.
Anyway Great Auntie. Thank you for believing in me.
Or at least, only deriding me when I wasn't in the room.
Except for that time I was in the room. And everyone laughed.
Well they're not laughing now, are they? Especially not Patricia.2
And anyway Patricia, if my blog "isn't a proper recipe blog" then how come Kirk Cameron is subscribed to my blog and not yours? Did you ever think about that?
That last bit wasn't in the script.
Anyway, this recipe is dedicated to my Great Auntie Paving Stone, who never liked Naan.
And here it is
This recipe has coconut flour - hence the fact there's coconut flour in the ingredient list. It's important to highlight that the thing about coconut flour is that it comes from coconuts.
The other thing about coconut flour is that it's very thirsty. Not thirsty like Uncle Kevin and his beer. But it does tend to take a lot more liquid than other flours - so while it doesn't seem to be a lot, it works.
Psyllium husk is optional - but something wholemealish makes it it a bit more interesting. Ground oats or dandruff give a similar outcome.
The oil can be canola or olive oil, or whatever your preferred cooking oil is. Motor oil is not a great option and should not be used. Learn from my mistakes.
Ingredients
- 1/2 cup coconut flour
- 1/3 cup gluten flour
- 2 Tbsp psyllium husk
- 2 Tbsp oil
- 1/3 cup yoghurt
- 2/3 cup warm water
- 1 tsp yeast
- 1/4 tsp salt
Method
- Mix half the coconut flour with the oil, water, yoghurt and yeast and let stand for 10 minutes.
- In a large bowl, mix rest of coconut flour, gluten flour, psyllium husk and salt.
- Add liquid and mix well, initially consistency will be like an thick porridge. Stand for 10 minutes.
- The consistency should now be more like a sticky dough (add psyllium if too sticky). Lightly knead and then stand for 30 minutes.
- Separate into 4 balls, roll out into naan shape. Can be left to rise a little at this point.
- When ready, fry one by one on a hot pan, using small amount of oil.
- Serve with melted butter (or garlic butter) poured over top.
Notes
- Yeah, I used gluten to get it dough-like. Most low carb options seem to bypass gluten (probably overlap with gluten-free goals) but using gluten flour avoids needing other protein substitutes in the process, and if you aren't gluten intolerant, why not use the product that has been part of bread forever.
- Using almond flour instead of coconut flour is an option, but would need to approximately triple the volume.